My Heart Broke a Little Today.

My Heart Broke a Little Today.

Not because of the time of year it is, though many would understand that. No, it was a different kind of loss. It was the loss of hope which caused my heart to break today. No, not the hope one has for their life, their plans and dreams, though I do suspect those plans and dreams may eventually be shattered by what is now breaking my heart. It was not the hope you hold out for your children, hoping they will make a good life for themselves, though I suspect that will be affected as well. No, my heart broke today because of my loss of hope for our nation.

I do not say this lightly. As most people know, I am not a doomsday – all is lost – kind of person. But with this election cycle, it is hard not to be. When you look at the mud being slung, that has been slung for so long, between the two parties, it can be no surprise that this election cycle has been one of the most volatile in recent history. When people’s minds have been twisted by hatred and fear for so long, is it any wonder people are willing to make irrational choices to try and change things? No, it is not a surprise to me that many people have turned to someone, anyone, outside our traditional political structure to try and save the day for them. What does surprise me is the desperation to make that change which has grabbed ahold of people I thought were rational and could take a real look at the facts and understand that this election cycle – with the only outsider running being so vile a person, being such a poor businessman, with his misogynistic tendencies that he has displayed for years, who himself once said these kinds of people do not change – is not the time for it.

Sure, many of them reference the constant talking points Republicans’ have used for years, despite the fact that so many of them are now coming forward to indicate their charges were all trumped up.  They point to things like the constant investigations into Benghazi (which they have found nothing on and have even admitted was not her fault), those pesky emails (none of which have actually proven she has done any wrong) going on about how she should have been using a secure government server (though at the time she was in office it was common to use private servers and it was in no way illegal), calling her Killary though there is no evidence that she has had a hand in anyone’s death, including Benghazi. These things and more have been so engrained into the public’s brains that it is no wonder so many people still believes these lies, even while those who had previously attacked her are now recanting their efforts. They try to use things her husband did, or is accused of doing (despite no lawsuits other than the one for lying about an affair) as an excuse not to elect her. They will look at anything but the real track record, which indicates a good person who will fight for the rights of all. Is she flawed? Yes. No one is perfect. She stood by a man, and still does, who cheated on her regularly, hoping to believe the best about him. This is no more than the majority of women who have been cheated on have done at one time or another. And she is unfit for president because of that? No. People feed into all the other hype that has been spread for years about her, even though these things have been proven time and time again to be false. But this is still not why my heart is breaking.

My heart is breaking because today I saw a post from a young lady who I love dearly; someone who I always thought of as a strong feminist, a rational intelligent human being, who could never get drawn into the kind of lies that have been spread for years, and especially this election cycle. But she has. She has aligned herself with people who think racism is fine, treating women as less than is perfectly normal, that grabbing someone unconsensually is what men do. She has aligned herself and chosen to vote for a man who has a child rape case against him, who has peeped in on teenaged girls as they got ready for a beauty pageant.  The list of disgusting things this man has done is so great I won’t even go into them all. But beyond that, even if his crimes against women were not an issue (and believe me when I say they are) she has chosen to ignore the facts about her chosen candidate.

Business facts which clearly show he has never been out for anyone but himself by refusing to pay the kind of people he now says he will protect: by running business after business into the ground, by bankrupting not only his own companies but those of small businesses which have done business with him, by alienating everyone, even those other billionaires who know him. His ties to other countries, countries which are NOT our allies, are blatant by the sheer fact that everything he makes is made in another country. He wants to lower wages for those who are already scraping by.  Experts say his financial plans for our country would add 14.5 trillion dollars to our deficit (while his opponents would only add 200 million, a vast difference). The fact that other countries have said flatly they want nothing to do with him, they won’t deal with him as a president, and that they may even bar him from their countries. He wants to withdraw us from the UN, a peace keeping union, so that we can blatantly go about the world killing off those who are possible terrorists AND their families (something the US could easily be accused of if this plan come to fruition).

She, and so many others I know, are either choosing to ignore facts or really do not understand the consequences of having this man become president. I am quite frankly shocked at the lack of critical thinking, especially from people who I know are taught how to think critically in college.

But it was not these others who broke my heart, it was her. It was this woman who I always thought of as a fierce feminist and strong woman who has decided to vote for a man who would strip her rights away if he can and make her nothing but the subject of men’s unwanted aggression. I just can’t wrap my head around it. It was her who broke my heart, and I am weeping for our country as a result.